The Bank Manager

A little old man walks into the Banc of America, and says he wants to open a checking account. The teller asks him how much he would like to deposit to open his account and the little old man says,
"Five million dollars."
The teller is flabbergasted, and says,
"In what form?"
and the little old man says, "Cash. I've got it here in this big garbage bag"

The teller peeks and, sure enough, the little old man has a big garbage bag brimming with dollar bills. These are unusual circumstances so the teller excuses herself to get the president of the bank to handle this transaction. He arrives, and escorts the little old man to his executive office. Once inside, he asks the little old man where he got five milliom dollars. He says, "Betting"

"Betting?," he asks. "What sort of betting?"

"Oh, I gamble with folks on all sorts of things, and I usually come out on top. For example, I've got $50,000 right here that says that by noon tomorrow your balls will be square, and I'll even give you 5:1 odds. You got $10,000 you'd be willing to wager on this?"

The bank president is surprised at this sort of thing coming from a sweet little old man, but he didn't get to be the president of the Banc of America without being a risk-taker. "I suppose I could come up with the capital to cover the bet, but It would be wrong taking it from you. There's no way you can this wager!"

The little old man just shakes the garbage bag, and says, "I know what I'm doing...and I can afford to lose, though I'm not going to. Do we have a bet?"

"Ok, let's do this," says the bank president, and they shake hands on it.

"See you at 11:59 tomorrow morning," said the little old man, and with that he leaves. Next morning at 11:59 the little old man arrives with a younger man in an Armani suit, and is escorted to the bank president's office. The bank president is on edge. He'd gotten almost no sleep the night before, tossing and turning every few minutes to check his balls for impending squareness, but nothing happened all night. He must have checked thousands of times that morning, but still nothing; perfectly normal. When the little old man arrived he was beginning to relax, knowing he had won. "Please Come in, have a seat! Who might this gentleman be?" asked the bank president.

"He's my attorney. For a wager of this size I want to have a witness. No objections I Hope?"

"No, that's fine," said the president.

"Well, it's now past noon, and I'm still the same, so I guess I win!" he said triumphantly.

"Not so fast!" said the little old man. "For a hundred grand I want to personal verification! Please drop your pants."

The bank president is a bit embarassed, but agrees that in his position he'd want proof as well, so he drops his trousers. The little old man goes over to him and reaches out to feel the evidence.

"Ok, you win, here's your $50,000," says the little old man, handing over a wad of cash. As he does so, his attorney starts banging his head against the concrete wall and groaning.

"What's his problem?" asks the president.

"Oh, he's just upset. Poor loser if you ask me. You see, I had a bet for $2 000 000 with him that I would have the President of the Banc of America by the balls by noon today."